Tracy's Random Thoughts

New home

2006-06-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

My blog has moved to a new address....check it out here

Growing Up

2006-06-11T08:41:00.000-07:00

This past week has been a bit of a whirldwind for us. We found a house, we were approved for a loan, we signed a contract (almost lost the house, because so many people wanted it). Now starting Monday we get the bank stuff going, we have to get a home inspection, and we are set to close July 10. I am so excited to have our own place. Aaron and I haven't lived together just the two of us in over a year. The next couple of months are going to be crazy, but it should be fun.

I am meeting with my boss on Tuesday to discuss the possible move in the company. It would be a great career move for me, at the same time I will really miss what I am doing now, it is so much fun. I mean we are taking a group of recent college grads who are coming for orientation on a Haunted Decatur tour, and this is considered work for me! I think if there was an opening for a recruiter I would be all over it, but my boss said that if I took this position he is talking to me about he sees the career path leading to becoming a recruiter. I am hoping I don't have to go through the entire interview process again. He says he wants someone in place by th 26th so maybe they will be expediating the whole process.

Then we get Oliver the newest member to our family the second weekend in July! I am so excited he is adorable, and it will be good for Rufus to have a playmate once we move out.

Well I need to clean. Yuck!

So much for being a cursed day!

2006-06-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

Today started not looking so hot. My car died, and I believe it will be put out to pasture this time around. But we bought an auto club membership the last time it broke down so towing was free. I will probably have to get a new car, but we will buy a cheap one, and there is a big auto sale this weekend and we have a friend who is a GM at a dealership.

But then today, I was approached by my boss to apply for a position that would be a promotion, and you normally can't do that until you have worked there for a year, but his boss is impressed with me, so he is allowing me to apply.

We are getting a new puppy for free, named Oiver, so Rufus has a brother and...

We just made an offer on the cutest house! It's a great deal! Now we just have to get our loan stuff to go through and we will be golden!

Long time

2006-06-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has been so long since I have posted. Aaron and I had a good weekend memorial day up north. We had a cookout with our friends, went to our old church and had dinner with a few more friends. It was nice to remember what it used to be like having friends. It was awesome being with the old gang again.

I had another kinda of long week last week at work with new hire orientation. This week will be pretty calm, and then I think I get to go on a two day trip the following week to visit interns. I am very excited about getting out of the office. I have been spoiled these past few weeks working, but in settings away from my cubicle.

Nick started today at our church so Aaron is now only the associate pastor and Nick is the senior high pastor. We will still lead worship, but hopefully we can find someone to take over that soon as well. I was spoiled those several months that I had my Sunday evenings.

It is this time of year I wish I had gone into teaching as a profession. I want my summers off! Well I need to finish laundry before I go to bed. Just wanted to let everyone know I'm still alive!

EXHAUSTED!

2006-05-21T18:50:00.000-07:00

I survived the week. We had 115 interns come in on Wednesday and I spent 30+ hours of my 54 hour work week ( I'm so glad I get overtime! The one time being a peon works in my favor!) with the students. We had receptions, dinners, speakers, a casino night, all kinds of things, and I was wearing heels for all but 3 hours of the entire orientation! I could barely walk when I got out of bed on Friday (but boy did my feet look fabulous in them!) On a complete side note, I have a begun a slight show fetish. I am in LOVE with heels, but my feet are not quite feeling the love yet.

Anyway, so I survived my crazy work week, and then Zach and Andrea came down yesterday and the five of us (Z & A, me, Aaron, and his brother Zach) led worship at church this weekend. It was an acoustic Tomlin/Crowder mix, and it was awesome working with those guys again, they are so crazy talented. It was a total change from what this church is used to (they do more Maranatha, "Jesus You are My Best Friend" kind of worship). It was hard to read how people responded. His parents said people didn't sing much, even though we made sure to do a couple of songs they knew. We had tight four part harmonies at times that gave me goosbumps. I love when music just falls into place like that.

It was good to hang out with Zach and Andrea, and Megan and Chad came to hang out last night too. It was the first time we had a large group of people hanging out in our place. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile. I miss having friends,

Our apartment is nice and clean for the first time in months, thanks to the awesome tag team work of Aaron and I. I think I am going to just relax and read for a bit.

Crazy I know...Grey's Anatomy Spoiler Alert!

2006-05-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

I am obsessed with Grey's Anatomy. The past two nights have been insane for me. Last night screaming at George to tackle Izzie and stop her, and tonight I cried twice! When they put Doc to sleep I cried, and then when Alex picked up Izzie and held her as she cried. I can't believe she quit! And then they leave us wondering who Meredith is going to choose??!!! I am going nuts!

This is week at work is going to be the week from hell. I already worked an hour overtime today, and that is nothing compared to how it is going to be come Wednesday! We have 115 interns coming in and my department coordinates the program. Wednesday and Thursday will be 14+ hour days, and Friday will be a 9 hour day. I think it will be fun hanging out with the interns, we have a casino night and other fun events planned, but honestly I suck at schmoozing at the manager's events. That's why I volunteered to do check in and things that keep me at a table, so I don't have to schmooze so much.

Our friends Zach and Andrea are coming down this weekend to lead worshio with us. I am so excited! It will be VERY different from what this church is used to. I am curious to see how they respond. I can't wait to colloborate with such talented musicians again!

Well I need to get some shut eye!

A trip to the past

2006-05-13T19:10:00.000-07:00

We went to the old alma mater today for my mom in law's graduation. It is nice to go back, but also always a little weird. I ran into my favorite prof Neal Windham, and was able to meet Aaron's favorite Prof John Castlein. We also ran into a few old friends, played the catch up game and moved on.

It is always refreshing to go back, it is almost like I am being sent out into ministry for the first time. it is always a good reminder of where I came from and the ideals and hopes and dreams I had when I was sitting in those pews just 5 years ago (has it really been that long!!!???)

A Rant

2006-05-09T18:53:00.000-07:00

I am feeling spunky today. Lots of things annoy me, and things I am seeing in the church are sending me over the edge!

People are freaking out about a certain movie that is coming out that is attached to a certain book that's a huge bestseller. You know why it is such a big deal?

Two words: Biblical Illiteracy.

People are swallowing whole what is being fed to them because they don't know what Scripture says because it is more pertinent for us to teach people the 5 steps to build healthy relationships, instead of teaching people about the Ultimate relationship and leading them through Scripture. We opt for proof texting, instead of teaching people how to read Scripture in its fullness. We are reactive instead of being proactive.

But what can be done about it? Those who preach (not all) don't want to hear that we are only giving milk and no solid food. How do we break the cycle? Some churches are growing numerically because people's ears are being stroked, and the pastors don't want to change because their egos are being stroked. We look too much to be the next big thing instead of being a community of Christ followers that are doing big things for the Kingdom.

There is so much more, but I will end there. Good night

Ah Crap!

2006-05-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

I am on the rotation to give announcements at church and a couple weeks back on a Wednesday I was in rare form and when I was announcing the men's softball league I made some snide comment about needing to start a women's league. Well tonight at church a girl I have never talked to approached me about wanting to join the team! Crap! Now, I have to make calls and put a team together. I will be honest, I so hope I call tomorrow and they tell me I missed the deadline. I have no place leading a softball team! Note to self, keep your snide comments to yourself next time!

Worship Music.

2006-04-29T17:41:00.000-07:00

Aaron was asked today by a friend for a project, what worship songs that are theologically sound and those that are shallow or theologically incorrect. We began discussing this and I realized that the songs that came to our mind immediately for those that are theologically sound, were hymns. Boy how I miss hymns. Amazing Grace, How Great Thou Art, It is Well with my Soul. We have replaced these amazing songs for crap like "Jesus You Are My Best Friend" something with a catchy tune, but no substance. I guess for me worship takes us on a journey, it makes us look deep inside ourselves, and takes us deep into the mysteries of God. It haunts us and shakes us to our core as we come face to face with the might, the power, and the grace of our Creator. We have traded these songs for catchy sugary pop with a cathcy beat, but sometimes no substance. I am beginning to play a part in our production team at church, and one aspect will be helping pick out music for the week, so my question for you guys is, what are some songs that are theologically sound, and take you into the deep mysteries of God, and what is just catchy fluff that needs to be taken out of rotation on Weekend services?

Blessing and a Curse

2006-04-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

Restless. I feel restless. I have this problem where I look at things (usually in the church but sometimes at work too) and find myself frustrated because people turn a blind eye to things that need to be done to help an organization become a better version of themselves. All because it is easier to just keep with the status quo. I can't seem to accept the status quo, it usually isn't effective in changing lives, yes you see some results, but nothing like what it could become. You can ask my parents, even as a high school student I was stirring the pot. Why can't I be satisfied? But do I want to be satisfied, because then am I just settling into what is comfortable? It is a blessing and a curse

Cause I gotta have faith........

2006-04-21T15:34:00.000-07:00

You need to read the title singing the George Michael song from the 80s.

My husband had an interesting event happen to him yesterdayCheck it out

I am grumpy today and my brain has turned to mush. I was talking with the recruiter I support at work, and she is the same way. We are about to bring in 30+ new hires next month and there is so much to be done, and neither one of us has a clue what we are doing! Nothing like the blind leading the blind! I am so happy that the weekend is finally here. I haven't been home during the evening since Monday, I don't function well when my life gets hectic like that!

I need my vacation now!!! One more month......

Week of E memories

2006-04-18T20:14:00.000-07:00

A friend was sharing his favorite Week of E memories (Week of E was a weeklong mission trip all LCC students went on every spring.) I went to Martha's Vineyard for three years, my Freshman year trip isn't even worth mentioning. Here are a few of my favorite memories.

-I remember Neal Windham (my professor who married Aaron and I) getting down on the ground and imitating a gorilla to entertain a little girl.

-I remember getting mad at the man at the camp who kept making us move piles of mulch/bricks/dirt, whatever he could find only to move and pile into another location. When he told us to go and mulch everything around the camp, Dave Drake, Tom Harrison, Trent Seggelke, Jeremiah Auble, and myself mulched EVERYTHING. Pop machines, twigs, some pipe sticking up out of the ground, all while enjoying Spanish rock on the radio! That was the year we decided "mulch ministry" needed to be added to the description of the trip.

-Trying to get Trent Seggelke to say the word "poop" and Neal getting in his face and seriously asking, "what is your poop deal?"

-Getting a high school student to chug Maneshewitz(sp?) wine at a passover sedar (in my defense, I thought he had grape juice!)

-Singing "Amazing Grace" in a nursing home accompanied by a man in a kilt playing bagpipes. I remember Dave Drake telling him "we are in A" and he responded, "oh, it doesn't matter" then proceeding to play the most horrendous sound I have ever heard, and little old ladies covering their ears and scowling.

-Collaborating with some of the most talented musicians I know and performing at the coffeehouse.

-Preparing meals together in the little triangle house.

-Eating at the No Name in Boston, seriously the worst restaurant ever, but Danny Clymer loved it!

-Ditching the freedom trail and enjoying Ben and Jerry's on Newbury street.

-The most beautiful Gerbera Daisies I have ever seen.

-Picking out a skyscraper and trying to figure out how to get to the top floor. Andy and I went up an elevator and when we came out, it was a super fancy office. We tried to turn around to go back down and there were no buttons! The receptionist asked if she could help us, and he asked if we could look at the window. Surprisingly she did, she lead us into this state of the art conference room, and we had some fantastic views of the city. She then had to push a button so we could get back onto the elevator.

-Swing dancing on the beach at the Vineyard.

Goodness, too many to share, these are just a few. I think I may have to pull out my pictures!

Doppler

2006-04-16T16:59:00.000-07:00

It seems like sitting together in the basement watching the Doppler and waiting for the "big" storm to hit has become commonplace for us. There have been three Sundays in the past month and a half that tornado producing storms have come through.

My parents came up to visit this weekend. We went to Bloomington since there is nothing to do in Decatur and enjoyed a little shopping and a yummy meal at Flat Top Grille, a very tasty, create your own stirfry place.

Today we all pitched in together for the best turkey I think I have ever had, and all the great sides; mashed potatoes, crescent rolls, salad, green beans, and brownies for dessert. I looooooove food. I think I am a wannabe foodie if only I could get past the whole not liking fruits and vegetables!

A Rufus First

2006-04-10T20:05:00.000-07:00

Our little man had a first this afternoon. Yes we spoil and caudle our puppy. He does not go outside and when he does he is normally carried, he does all of his "business" on a potty pad. Today when I came home from work, it was so nice out, and I wanted to be out in it. Aaron and I decided to play catch in the backyard and we let Rufus hang out on the deck to watch us. He was dying to get to where we were, but he has never stepped on the grass. Very skiddish. Well he was feeling brave and after about 10 minutes of flirting with the idea, he jumped. He was freaked out by the feel of grass on his paws, so he hopped around like a bunny trying to stay off the grass as he "hopped" to Aaron and then to me, jumping, begging us to pick him up. Being the loving parents we are we just stood and laughed at him for about 5 minutes and then put him back on the deck. We taught him "stay" and then when he was good, we allowed him back in the yard to play a game of keep away. He should sleep well tonight!

Lazy Saturday

2006-04-08T11:54:00.000-07:00

I love Saturdays again. I hated working Saturdays when I was peddling portraits. It is almost 2 and I just got out of the shower, and I am still in my pjs. Rufus is curled up in my lap napping as Cubs baseball is on TV.

Ah, Spring, how I have missed you.

I have decided to work this Friday. It is a "floater" holiday, but by working 1) I get to take a day off anytime my little heart desires, so I will take a day off sometime this summer to enjoy the day. 2) I get to wear jeans or whatever my little heart desires!

I need to clean, do laundry, and buy groceries today. I really like sitting here though doing nothing. Maybe later...

Will it last?

2006-04-06T19:57:00.000-07:00

Beginning next Tuesday I will be taking a toning class with two of my coworkers. How long do you think I will last?? Hopefully this time around it will stick! I need to get my flabby butt into shape! A girl at work pointed out that I had, in her words, "ka dunk ka dunk" (translation: ghetto booty). They also offer personal trainers at the gym for free, so I have no excuses, other than sheer laziness.

There's a first time for everything

2006-04-03T20:04:00.000-07:00

Last night was the kickoff of the new high school program at church. We had a seven students show up, which was exciting considering it meant we retained all the kids that were coming on Wednesday before we split junior and senior high.

Aaron was about 10 minutes into his sermon when our drummer came over to me to inform me the senior pastor had just contacted them to say a tornado was 30 miles away and we needed to close up and fast. We had students call parents and a few were picked up before it all hit. We of course were trapped in the worst possible place to be during a tornado. Our building is an old semi truck garage. So we put everyone in the girls bathroom and hunkered down as we heard the loud wind rip around us. We were safe thankfully. There were three tornados in our area, none near us. One was only a few miles from home and we drove by some damage on the way home from the church.

This would be why I am not a fan of central illinois. I am terrified of storms!

What!!?

2006-03-30T20:06:00.000-08:00

Illinois lawmakers are looking to pass legislation to allow prostitutes to sue their pimps. Seriously not a joke, what the murph? So they are condoning an illegal activity by passing laws to protect them?

You mean it isn't Monday?

2006-03-28T19:40:00.000-08:00

I had one of those days where I didn't want to get out of bed, and then I couldn't find anything to wear to work. See all my coworkers are fashionista's and well, I've never had to dress to the 9's like I do now, and well, I am so clueless on how to dress like they do. I have decided that What Not to Wear needs to do an episode for those who are on the right track, but not quite there yet. I would be the perfect candidate! So I didn't like what I finally walked out the door, but I had no time. Then around 2:30 the migraine a migraine came to visit, and would not leave!

Can I just say that I heart Taylor? I love that he sang a Ray LaMontagne song! Screw you Randy and Simon! Also my new favorite artist is KT Tunstall, funny thing is her radio single is my least favorite song on the album!

I can't feel my legs

2006-03-26T14:32:00.000-08:00

Last week at church our Program director was trying to get me to agree to speak on stage sometime. I was adamant that I don't really like speaking in front of large crowds like that.

Last night I went to church so that I could sleep in today and take it easy. Yeah Right. The host (does a short devo for prayer time and announcements) didn't show up so they asked me to fill in. Thankfully someone on the praise team covered the devo part last night, but when I came in this morning, they wanted me to do it. I walked up there not knowing what I was going to say, but when I was finished I was shaking so badly I thought I was going to fall down the stairs. I guess I didn't screw it up too badly because they asked to put me into the rotation to host.

I also was asked last night if I would join the big church praise team, and this morning I was asked to join the production team to help put the services together.

Aaron is going to be hiring someone to take over the high school part of his job, so he will now only work with adults. I am excited, to get a chance to work more with adults as well.

My Brain has shut down!

2006-03-25T15:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the day I have been working my butt off for over the past 2 weeks. We had 16 college students come in to interview for full time positions with our company. It was my responsibilty to set up travel (I am so glad all I have to do is make a call and the agent does it all for me), interviewers, speakers, and a dinner for the marathon 12 hour interview day. It all went off pretty well, a few hiccups, and apparently the high ups don't like hiccups. It has to run perfect so I get to hear all the things that didn't work on Tuesday. I did still get praise from my colleagues, but I don't think the Senior VP was feeling me.

Another thing I learned about myself is that I hate schmoozing. I enjoyed setting up the day, but attending the dinner with all the execs and candidates is a nightmare for me! I just found myself sitting at the table surrounded by people talking about things I knew nothing about and saying to myself, "yeah becoming a teacher looks pretty good to me right now!"

I enjoy the job other than the dinners, but I don't have another one until the fall recruitung season, thank goodness! Monday marks my first official day, which means a raise and benefits. Stellar!

Happiness and Joy

2006-03-21T16:09:00.000-08:00

We are getting an Olive Garden and a Drive Thru Starbucks!!!!!! Now if they could get us a Barnes and Noble....

Welcome to the first day of Spring with 6 inches of snow? What the Murph??!!

Randomness Alert

2006-03-18T11:35:00.000-08:00

I had a wonderful post two days ago and I lost it. So in my frustration, it has taken two days to attempt a re-post.

I got the job! My official start date is the 27, meaning I have full benefits, April 1. And they are kickin' benefits! Dentist here I come! I know I am going to have like 42 gajillion cavities! But who cares, I have insurance to cover some of it now!

In my interview, the Vice President of HR asked me what I wanted my tombstone to read on how I lived my life...that was a new one! My answer, "She lived her life to the fullest and pursued everything with excellence." How's that for an on the fly answer!

My teams aren't doing the greatest in the tourney, but hey, at least I'm not in last place. I'm the only girl in the group, so I have to do my best for womankind!

The killer suit I bought a couple weeks back seems to have worked wonders for me. I need to go out and buy a couple more. It is crazy working in a professional office where everyone wears suits! Target here I come!

That is all for now...Good night, and Good luck

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

2006-03-14T19:05:00.000-08:00

March Madness! I just finished my brackets, I am up against all of Aaron's college buddies, and I am not feeling so confident about my chances this year. The last two years I have finished in 2nd. This year there are no clear cut winners, so I am giong with the old tried and true just go with your gut, don't listen or read all the hype. We will see how it works out for me this year!

Settling Down?

2006-03-12T20:17:00.000-08:00

I was having dinner with my new friend Bree the other night as she was trying to figure out where she is going to live. She moved here from St. Louis in January and has been living in Corporate Housing. She was trying to decide if she wanted to get an apartment here or in one of the surrounding towns that actually has a social scene. She said she was having a hard time grasping that this was where she was going to be settling. I told her that I completely understand. I don't like to think that I am finished and this is where I will settle.

My heart aches to be closer to a city. I have found myself longing for the area we lived before we came down here. Not that I necessarily want to be right back where we were, but in that type of setting. It drives me nuts to not know where God is taking us next, but at the moment I don't feel like this is the place.

Oh my goodness there are tornadoes hitting all around us, but this cell seems to have missed where we live, but a little too close for comfort. We have more storms coming overnight. Eek! I HATE storms!

4 years

2006-03-09T19:58:00.000-08:00

Today is our four year anniversary. I can't believe it has flown by so quickly! Next year we plan on traveling to Arizona for a week vacation to Cubs Spring Training games, the grand canyon and wherever our little hearts desire! I don't care as long as it is warm and I can get a tan!

We went out for a lovely dinner tonight downtown. It was a charming restaurant that was all decked out in 40's decor. We ate WAY to much food, but it was so worth it! I had a filet mignon that was to die for! It seriously melted like butter in my mouth. Then we had the best cheesecake! New York Style Cheese cake, topped with chocolate chips, and chocolate sauce and a white chocolate sauce! I was in heaven! All in all I indulged in a little gluttony!

I have a second interview on the 15th with the head HR guy.

Aaron and I are trying to grow sunflowers. We already had one casualty, but we have two growing strong. We will see if we can keep them alive! I have never had any luck keeping things alive.

Tomorrow is Friday, I am so excited! This week has been exhausting! Aaron's college buddies are coming into town tomorrow night to do their fantasy baseball draft.

I need to clean our apartment, it is a pit!

Good night!

How Happy Am I ?

2006-03-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

Phillip Seymour Hoffman, who I have had an unexplainable infatuation with, won for best actor tonight! Then my favorite Resse Witherspoon, and then CRASH!!!! I am so happy! I must now go to sleep so I won't hopefully screw up my interview tomorrow! Off to bed!

Christian Music

2006-03-04T19:21:00.000-08:00

Last night I was flipping channels while laying in bed, and I stopped on something I never watch, the 700 Club. They were interviewing this fiery red headed artist named Sarah Kelly, and in the interview she talked about the story of Paul and Silas worshipping in jail, and how they became worship mentors for her. She said how so often Sunday morning worship was more like Karoke, but that Paul and Silas taught that we worship no matter the circumstance. I liked that. Anyway, I looked her up on Itunes today to listen to her music, and ran across something interesting...

On Itunes they have these "celebrity playlists" I clicked on a couple and found this interesting. I looked at Derek Webb, Ginny Owens, and Jars of Clay. It was funny, but none of them had fellow Christian artists on them, unless they were incredibly obscure, and I didn't know it. They had artists like the Indigo Girls, the Stones, Interpol, Ben Folds, Norah Jones, Ginny Owens even had Brittany Spears "Toxic" as a guilty pleasure (I have to admit, that song always got me moving when I heard it.)

I don't really listen to Christian music. Most of it is too fake and overproduced. I like music that is raw and honest. It is funny how people think that when you become a Christian you can only listen to Christian radio. In small group we played a game where we sang songs that correlated with different words. People would preface some songs by saying "This was from my days before I became a Christian." In the youth building it explicitly says "no secular music", honestly I think our band was surprised when the started playing Blink 182 and Aaron and I started singing along. Since when does becoming a Christian mean you can no longer appreciate Art. At least the artists I previously mentioned, haven't forgotten that.

It's also funny how churches want to play songs that people hear on the radio so when they come in it is something they recognize and get excited. Too bad more often than not it is songs from Christian radio. We claim to want to reach the lost, but we are still only doing things for the "saved". (Don't even get me started on that term) We sacrifice some of the amazing songs that our grandparents sang that are so deep and powerful to sing sugary pop crap Christian music that isn't even a worship song in the first place.

Whoa I think we found a soapbox. I better step off.

Job Woes

2006-03-02T09:04:00.000-08:00

I have an interview on Monday to see if they want to turn my temp job into a permanent job. This seems weird, interviewing for a job I have been filling in for, for the past month. It’s exciting, because my original assignment went to the end of April. If all goes well though, I could get hired on earlier, meaning benefits and I hope more pay!

I am torn a bit though. I am still interested in pursuing the teaching thing, but I can’t do anything with that until at least the summer, and we still aren’t for sure where we are going to be. By this time will I have settled into a new job I enjoy, and talk myself out of going through the stress and pay cuts of going back to school? If we move, there is no doubt I will have to work to help make ends meet as we get on our feet. As this cycle continues I question whether this schooling thing will happen, and what effect will this have on family planning? Part of the draw to becoming a teacher is to have more time to spend with our kids someday. Sometimes I question why I didn’t think to do anything about this earlier. I had the opportunity 2 years ago when they changed my job description at a place I worked at up North. At the time Aaron was telling me I should go to get my teaching certification, but I talked myself out of it saying I wouldn’t be very good, and I had no clue what I wanted to teach or what grade. I could kick myself for not following through back then, but then again I did get the awesome job at the church I loved. I don’t know, Aaron tells me we can make it work. I wish I could be as optimistic as he is.

Baby oh Baby!

2006-02-26T07:37:00.000-08:00

My friends Brittany & TJ Montoya were in town this past weekend, and Aaron and I went to a coed baby shower held for them yesterday. Brittany was my roommate for a year right after college, and Aaron had the privilege of performing their wedding. They moved to NYC so that TJ could go to Grad school, so it has been a good almost 2 years since we have seen them. It was my first coed shower. We played games and Team Monts won! Ok really it was all me, Aaron helped with maybe 4 questions. Britt and I are both pop culture freaks, and the game was to see who could match more baby names with their celebrity parents. Being the freak I am, I had 100%, as did Britt, so I am the proud owner of a flower pot with a packet of seeds, and stationary! I realy want to try to be domestic and grow the flowers, but I kill everything I have ever tried to grow, and being in a basement I don't really have a windowsill to give them light.

After the shower we went out with a group of their college and high school friends for dinner. The first place had too long a wait so we decided to go to Lonestar. As we were waiting for a seat, we began to realize that the dress code for this place seemed to be camo/carhart, mullets, and a hick accent. We finally are seated, and we received the worst service. Poor Brittany is 7 months pregnant and hungry, and she is the last out of the 10 to get her food! There was a good 20 minutes between the first people to receive their food and her.

Anyway, it was so fun to hang out with everyone. It gets lonely here in the basement. We still don't have any friends here that are our age. I read my friend's blogs and I miss them. I miss hanging out with Kelly and Michelle, and the great conversateions we had over a good homecooked meal (Michelle is amazing). I miss Andy and Misty and they crazy fun we would have together, when I am with them I laugh harder than I think I have in a long time. It sucks to make friends only to move constantly.

new job

2006-02-15T19:12:00.000-08:00

I started a temp job on Monday. It is with a major international corporation here in town as admin support for the college relations department. It is a six week stint, but the position is open, so if I do well it could be mine. I really like it so far, and want to make a good impression to get hired. All the recruiters are my age and mainly girls that are crazy fun personalities.

Today I worked a 12 hour day. One of the major responsibilities with this position are the interview days. 18-21 candidates are flown in from across the country and listen to various speakers from big wig execs to new guys who went through the same program, and the each are interviewed, ending with a dinner with various execs. Today I observed, but next month, it will be my responsibility to put together the day. I am excited and anxious. My ability to pull this off with decide whether or not I am offered a permanent position. Monday I went out and bought a killer suit and awesome shoes to dress to impress for today. I have to admit it is the nicest outfit I have bought for myself in I don't know how long. Well that is about all, I will keep you all posted!

Holy Crap!

2006-02-07T04:25:00.000-08:00

I was just called in for my first subbing job! I have to be at the high school at 7:30 and I am subbing for an English teacher! I am totally freaking out, I am so nervous! And know what my ever loving supportive husband says to me when I tell him that, "I'll bet you are!" Do you know something I don't? Wish me luck!

UPDATE:
I survived. I am tired, but I survived. I know they took advantage of me (lots of asking to go to the bathroom, etc), but now I know what the protocol is, no one left me any notes saying what they could and could not do. I covered English III and Drama classes today. Nothing hard, gave a quiz, and homework assignments. One class told me I already sounded like a teacher, but that was because they were really acting up and getting on my nerves. All in all a good day.

I will be filling in to answer phones in the corporate world tomorrow to fill in for someone going to a funeral. Won't be as exciting as today I am sure (I have to wear a suit to answer phones!), but it is money!

Jobs

2006-02-06T17:28:00.000-08:00

I have begun the search for a new job. I went to visit Aaron in his new office last week (I seriously needed to get out of the house, this never having work at my current position really sucks!) As I was hanging out, I became really aware of the fact that I really, really miss working in the church. I loved my job at the church before we moved, it was by far my favorite job, and the most fitting to why I got my degree in business. I realize now I took the job with the church directory company in an attempt to fill the void of not working in church ministry. I mean I spend all my time in churches spending time with church people, this could be a smooth transition. I was quickly awakened to the fact that this was nothing like what I expected or was looking for to fill the void. I want to work in the church again, it may have been in the office, but it was a ministry for me, and it was so fulfilling.

Unfortunately, the luxury of finding a position in a church when your husband is also in the ministry is not so easy, and sadly the church he works at has no openings for anyone with my skills. I am afraid I will yet again have to just find a job to make ends meet, not one that fulfills my passions and desires. I have contacted a friend to see if there is anything at their church in hopes that maybe the dream can stay alive, he had something earlier he called me about, but I had just accepted the position, I am now resigning from. If only I had taken him up on his offer in the first place. Oh, well hindsight is always 20/20, right?

Finally!

2006-02-02T08:09:00.000-08:00

This week has been a very eventful week for us! Aaron was just hired for a full time gig for a few months as the interim associate pastor at the church we are attending in Decatur. It is nice to have someone in our household bring in a steady paycheck, since my work schedule has been so non-existent. Speaking of which, I mailed out my letter of resignation yesterday, and I feel so liberated! I made cute business cards today that I am going to take around to area schools to introduce myself and hopefully push my name up the list for substitutes. I also have completed testing and interviews for a staffing service, and now that I have a date of availability, should make it easier to place me. So hooray! Please keep me in prayer that I can find a good job, and one I enjoy. I tell you one thing though, anything will be better since I will get to be home every night and not work on Saturdays! I am just a 9-5 girl!

It's Gettin Hot in Herrrrrrrr...

2006-01-31T18:19:00.000-08:00

Nelly!

what cleb. are you going to marry!
brought to you by Quizilla

I am not so sure about this one... I said I like rock music, and I'm attracted to white men.....

Song confusion

2006-01-28T19:50:00.000-08:00

I was listening to my ipod today on my way to a schedule and I heard a song, that many of you probably know. It reminded me of a funny moment at one of my old jobs where a coworker came in singing this song, "So I opened up the door, I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me." I immediately laughed and asked for them to repeat, and informed them that the line is "soy un perdedor." They then proceeded to attempt singing the correct line, but now for some reason could not find the rhythm to sing, quite funny.

Which leads me to song lyrics that I once confused upon hearing them. I thought Madonna's "Material Girl" was "Cheerio Girl". I thought Paula Abdul's "Rush, Rush" was "Mush, Mush." And if you have ever listened to INXS' "Suicide Blonde", you can't tell me that doesn't sound like "Super Salad Bar"!

So what are song lyrics you have messed up?

Someday I will grow up

2006-01-25T17:11:00.000-08:00

I am sitting home on day three of not working. I did not receive a schedule for this week, and as of right now, I am not on schedule for next week either. I have an appointment to apply for certification to become a substitue teacher tomorrow, so hopefully that will go through quickly and I can get something, and then I can also see if I am interested in teaching some day down the road. I was talking with my mom the other day, and I think I want to become certified to teach high school social studies. I enjoyed all of the courses growing up, and it will be a more marketable position. I just have to wait to see where we are going next to look into schooling.

I also put in an application with an employment agency yesterday. If I am not working at my current job, even though I don't want to have yet another job on my resume, I need to be working.

The one nice thing about not working the past two weeks is that I have been able to sing on Wednesday nights at church. Aaron was hired part time to lead the youth praise team at the church we are attending, and I am helping out. It is kinda fun to be serving again.

My favorite Rice girls were here over the weekend. It was great catching up with them. We checked out the college service at Eastview, and then enjoyed Coldstone with Nick and Anne. It was great to have a social life again.

Crazy Rachael Ray

2006-01-17T20:24:00.000-08:00

I'll admit it, I am a total Rachael Ray nut. I love all of her shows on the food network (in my dream world I am a great cook) and I was even given one of her cookbooks for Christmas. Normally Aaron complains when he has to watch it, but last night it worked in his favor. She was making comfort foods, and made German beer and cheese fondue. It sounded really good, and we had all kinds of yumm-o things to dip in cheese, but alas no cheese, or fondue pot.

We decided to go on a quick jaunt to pick up said items, not realizing what a journey we were about to take. We bought all needed cooking items at Walmart, but alas, no fondue pot, so off to yuppie Walmart (aka Target). We found a pot, but no gelled fuel (sold out), I went into 4 different stores, with no luck. When I walked into Hobby Lobby I decided rather than looking everywhere I would just ask someone. I see a girl in a blue shirt standing at a checkout line with all the other employees. She keeps staring at me, so I stop and ask her where I can find sterno for a fondue pot. She looks at me blankly telling me she has no idea what I was talking about (she was the 4th person who had told me this) and I am thinking to myself, "Oh these poor uncultured Decaturites." She tells me she has no idea what I am talking about, and then upon closer inspection, realize she is wearing a blue shirt that says "KFC". Ok, I am a moron.

So we come full circle, and I go back to the original Walmart, and finally find sterno. At last, fondue. Not as good as Rachael's (stupid sterno wouldn't stay lit), but as stubborn as we both are, when we had our mind set on cheese fondue, come hell or high water, we had cheese fondue.

In other news, I am totally stoked that Reese Witherspoon and Phillip Seymour Hoffman won the Golden Globe!

Lots to tell

2006-01-10T16:12:00.000-08:00

Well, some have already read Aaron's blog and know where we are at right now, but for those of you who have not heard, it is about 90% that we will not be going to Boston. It has been a difficult decision, but with each new day it is becoming a lot easier. Aaron has been struggling with missing full time vocational ministry and there were no immediate opportunities out East. The other part was that financially things have been tough these past several weeks. My not working much had already led us to decide that there was no way we could afford a move in the summer. We have been praying about this and are feeling quite a peace about it all.

So I am sure everyone is wondering now "So what are you planning to do now?" I wish we knew. We are just taking it easy and looking to find what makes our hearts beat fast, so we could end up just about anywhere. We will probably be here in the Decatur area for several more months than originally planned, but who knows, things can change.

So your prayers would be great. We sometimes feel we are grabbing at straws, and anyone who knows me, knows that I need to have a plan at all times, so not having a clue where we are going next can drive me crazy sometimes.

It's Been Awhile

2006-01-05T08:26:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and new year! We had a great week last week up in Michigan. We spent a few days with my sister and her boyfriend, and then a few more days with John Mark and Katie. We also got to see Peyton, who is the cutest little baby! We babysat Peyton on Friday for a couple hours so John Mark and Katie could go out for dinner on their anniversary. He was pretty easy to take care of. We had to change his diaper, which was funny, I am sure I changed them sometime in the past, but honestly I don't remember, so it was interesting as Aaron and I worked as a team to figure out how to change the poopy diaper! All in all it was a great visit, and it was nice to get away for a few days.

I got a few days of work this week, amazingly I am working the same number of days I worked for the entire month of December in one week! Of course no one is buying anything since it is right after Christmas, so I will more than likely not make my full amount this week. I guess this is how it is going to be all month as everyone is still recovering from Christmas.

Well that is about all right now. I am being totally lazy and putting off the things I need to do this morning before going to work.

Merry Christmas

2005-12-24T12:38:00.000-08:00

The Christmas festivities begin! Today we have church and dinner with Aaron's dad's side, then we will open our gifts tonight, then tomorrow, Christmas with his mom's family. Monday my parents are driving up here, and then we are all driving to Detroit to spend a couple days with my sister and Mike. I am excited to see my sister's new place, and I am stoked because I racked up enough points from hotel stays for two free nights for Aaron and I! Then we will spend a couple days with John Mark and Katie, and then we will come home.

Rufus went to the groomer the other day and since he gets so knotted, they had to give him a "puppy cut" and the poor guy looks like a homeless dog. He was so cold that we had to put a sweater on him. Yes that's right, our dog is wearing a sweater. Never thought that would happen.

I got my car back finally. 2000 bucks! I now of course have to keep that car until it dies, to justify in my mind spending that much money.

I need to be cleaning since everyone is coming over tomorrow and will inevitably want to see the place, but you know me, I hate cleaning! My inlaws were buffing their floors this morning! So not me!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Hooray!

2005-12-19T13:16:00.000-08:00

I got called in for 2 days of work this week! I don't anticipate selling much since it is three days before Christmas, but I am at least guaranteed some money just for working. More than I would have made otherwise. I realized last week that I only worked 3 days the month of December.

I still don't have my car. They called on Friday to say the stuff they had been working on was fixed, but oh my, the radiator is melted, so it needs to be replaced and that will be another 200 bucks! So now I have to wait for that part to come in and be put in. Why they didn't see if when they reviewing the car in the first place, seems a little shady if you ask me.

Bakeapolooza

2005-12-18T07:11:00.000-08:00

So yesterday was Christmas cookie baking. I have never done the whole all day baking thing, but it was kinda fun. I was exhausted at the end of the day. We used both our ovens, so I was running up and down the stairs all afternoon. I made three things and Aaron's mom made three things, so the kitchen was a mess, and now there are so many cookies it isn't even funny. Aaron's dad keeps offering to rid the world of the cookies, right into his belly! I made a couple cookies I never made before, and I must say they came out pretty tasty!

I got up this morning with ever intention of working out, but of course now I don't think I have time before church. I can't work out when I just wake up. Maybe I will push Aaron upstairs so I can have a 30 minute workout this afternoon. If I don't start working out again, all the weight I lost is going to to come back with a vengeance, and I can't have that!

I forgot

2005-12-15T20:07:00.000-08:00

My dad had his followup earlier this week, and he got the all clear! The surgery was a success! Thanks to everyone for your prayers!

Excitement!

2005-12-15T12:19:00.000-08:00

Last week Aaron and I were asked to sing at church because someone dropped out at the last minute. The woman in charge of specials has known Aaron since high school so she knows he can sing. When I talked to her a couple of months ago, she told me that to sing, I would have to audition. Well she never contacted me, and my wonderful husband asked me to sing with him.

It went over really well, and she approached us at church last night saying she had heard nothing but rave reviews, and the guy in charge of the praise team told her he wanted me on the team right away and that I didn't need to audition! That was very gratifying. We were asked to lead worship in February, and I am excited that I will finally be able to participate in church again. With my work schedule it has been so difficult to get involved, but now that it is slowing down maybe I can.

We found a really cool arrangement of "O, Holy Night" last night that we are going to do, and I am so excited!

Cabin Fever

2005-12-13T17:10:00.000-08:00

So I have been stuck in the house all day. The not working thing was fun at first, it was nice to finally be home, but now I feel I am on the verge of going crazy! I want to leave the house, but if I do, I will more than likely spend money, which I shouldn't. I should probably look for another job, but I am still unsure what I should do at the moment. Keep the one I have and find a second job to supplement, or do I look for a new job altogether? I am trying to come up with projects to keep me busy.

Today I went through my recipe books and tried something new. It turned out ok. I think I need to go out and buy a recipe box and transfer all my papers onto cards to put inside.

I could bake Christmas cookies.

I also could do Christmas Cards, but that requires money to pay for postage, so maybe not. I already have all my gifts purchased and wrapped (I know so efficient!)

I could read more books. I have several I am interested in.

What other ideas do you have of things I can do to keep myself busy over these next three weeks of unemployment, Aaron is now done with class, so we have to come up with things to get us out of this house before we both go crazy!

WARNING: Randomness

2005-12-10T13:10:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it is almost Christmas! We didn't put up a tree this year (I know bah humbug), but our tiny space had no room for one. This is the second Christmas in our 4 years that we have had no tree! Sadness, I know.

I am almost finished with my Christmas shopping. Being booty poor this year made buying gifts a little easier because I made lists and entered stores on a mission, no dilly dallying, or spending more than I could. I must say I am quite proud. Gifts are about half wrapped, so I think I shall finish that this afternoon.

I am off again next week, and more than likely the next, my boss said the only jobs were in Kansas City, I hope they don't send me to Kansas City.

Hyundai has had my car for a month now. Twice they have had bad parts that had to be reordered and replaced. It was fun at first to have the super cool SUV, but good grief, I never thought I would want my hunk of junk back.

We went to see Chronicles of Narnia last night, and it is killer! Everyone needs to see it! I never read the books, but I remember watching a live action british version when I was a child. It makes me interested to read the books, now that I am a reader again. Speaking of which, I am currently reading Memoirs of a Geisha since it is about to come out as a movie in a couple weeks, and I had had an interest to read it, I thought, "what the heck, might as well read the book first for once!"

Aaron and I made our singing debut at the church we have been attending on Wednesday night. They were just doing some specials instead of worship since the stage was torn down for their dinner theater. Someone dropped out, and Aaron goes way back with the lady who selects people to sing specials, so she asked Aaron to help her out. He in turn asked me to join, and I agreed. I still have to audition to be able to sing at all, and I being that I hate auditioning (it has never turned out good for me, I didn't make choir in college after auditioning), I was excitied to just get to sing, and hopefully that would cover it, since the lady was supposed to have contacted me over a month ago and never did. Well I guess they were comfortable with us because they have asked us to lead worship on a Wednesday in February when they have to strip the stage again. So maybe I will finally get the opportunity to serve at church again. It is really, really hard to get your foot in the door, if you don't know someone, and I am not the type to walk up to someone and say, "I can somewhat carry a tune, can I sing in the praise band?" I am just not that forward.

Ok that is enough with the randomness for now. Oh one more creepy old man story for you all. Earlier this week I was at a church waiting for a disk to show pictures. There was an older man in a wheelchair so I stopped to say "hello". When I stopped he winked at me and kissed the air in my direction. I pretended not to notice and asked him how he was doing. He responded by telling me I looked very pretty that day and proceeded to wink and kiss in my direction again, where I then pretended I had someplace to be and walked away!

And the hits just keep on coming!

2005-12-07T14:57:00.000-08:00

So today began my what will more than likely be an involuntary three week vacation from work, possibly longer. Many of my coworkers claim unemployment and live on that when the season slows down. So today I went into the unemploement office planning to do the same. This would give us a little money as I get the ball rolling on subbing, or whatever is decided.

But the IDES had other plans. Apparently the church was not liable to pay unemployment since they are a not for profit organization, so apparantly nothing was taken out. You have to have had unemployment paid in four consecutuve quarters, and since I worked a the church for so long, I only have one quarter, so I am ineligible. Crap, now what do I do?

Which leads to so many questions, do I look for a new job, probably working two jobs to make what I was making before? How would subbing fit into this, where can Aaron work to help out?

Please keep us in prayer as we have several important decisions we are in the midst of trying to figure out.

I didn't know I was in the majority...

2005-12-04T10:52:00.000-08:00

I went Christmas shopping with my mom yesterday, thankfully I am almost finished. We went to the GAP and I decided to try a pair of the "curvy" jeans. I still have a little bit of trouble considering myself to be "curvy" but according to the GAP sales guy, I totally am (should I have been offended by this?) Anyway, I finally find a pair that I like, however they were the long length. The only other length was the ankle, so I need a size 8 curvy regular length. They have nothing, so they call GAP.com which I guess can check the stores across the country and their stock as well. THERE IS NOT ONE PAIR OF JEANS IN THIS SIZE AND LENGTH! How crazy is that, all of america is apparently the same size as me. So now I just have to wait for them to make more, so I too can have a pair of jeans to fit this "curvy" body of mine.

On a completely different note, I did get a couple days of work this past week, one of the other PC's (that's what I am called) was sick so I filled in. At a church I was commenting on what pretty eyes a male customer had (he was over 60) and then joked that I probably shouldn't tell a man he has pretty eyes, so I jokingly said, "My, what handsome eyes you have!" We all laughed and he said " you want to give me your phone number?" His wife said, "she's married!" He said, "So am I, that's the fun of it! Maybe we could double!" We all laughed and went on, but as they left he jokingly asked for it again. It seems the only men who ever hit on me are older men. I have photographers wanting to take my picture, one older gentleman asked if he could get his picture taken with me at a church, and then they ask for my number! Sheer madness!

I am to the place where work drops down to practically nothing. I work two days next week, who knows what is in store for me the following week, then I am off the week of Christmas and more than likely the week before because there is no work! I am gong to try to claim unemployment because apparently I can, so I will do that on Wednesday of this week, and then I have to start the ball rolling on subbing. It takes about a month to be approved I have been told.

Is it possible?

2005-11-28T14:35:00.000-08:00

Did I possibly find a direction for my life??? With my work load dropping drastically (I am not working at all this week, and only 2 days next week), am in need of finding alternate ways of making money for the family. I have always thought of substitute teaching, and then I also found out that I can qualify for unemployment the weeks there isn't a full work load for me.

So as I thought more about subbing, I realized that teaching may actually be something I am interested in. Like maybe in the business dept or career ed and consumer ed. I told Aaron this last night and his response was "It's about stinking time!" He has been telling me for three years I should pursue it, but it has always frightened me, I mean what could I possibly teach? Then there is the whole going back to school thing, am I cut out for it?

So I was looking online and Massachusetts has programs for people like me the "career changers" who are interested in teaching, where I could get my licensure while teaching. There are also programs where I can teach and take classes getting me halfway towards a masters in education.

How crazy is it to think that I could become a teacher?

Thanksgiving coma

2005-11-24T19:11:00.000-08:00

I have just finished two days of thanksgiving feasts, and I am ready to crash! We went to my parents' yesterday and had the whole dinner thing and then met up with Aaron's family today. I am so exhausted, I think I may go to bed and it is only 9PM!!! I am so old!

I have to work tomorrow and Saturday, so no day after thanksgiving sales for me, : (

My car is still in the shop, but they gave us a loaner car while we wait for mine, an 05 Santa Fe! Let me tell you this girl could get used to driving an SUV, I feel like a soccer mom! Well I think it is time to think about sleeping! Hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving! I know I did!

I can't wait!!!!

2005-11-21T07:54:00.000-08:00

Rent comes out in two days!!!!! Words cannot express the excitement I am feeling! I found my sister's copy of the music by the original cast, and I have been listening to it like crazy, but silly me forgot it in the car when it was towed away. Hopefully I get it back tomorrow!

The saga continues....

2005-11-20T13:25:00.000-08:00

Still no car, and I found out Friday I have to go back to middle of nowhere MO on Monday. Boo. God bless my husband for letting me highjack his car again. We had every intention of coming up to visit everyone today for the big turkey dinner/Dennis and Edna Celebration, but work calls, and with jobs becoming scarce, I have to take anything they offer. I mean the next week I have nowhere to go so far! Looks like it is time to put in applications to become a substitute teacher. Please keep us in your prayers as we are both looking for work at the moment. Aaron should find out soon if he gets the job at the hospital as a chaplain.

Not a lot going on right now, just work, work, work.

Oh this was funny today....as I was driving to church this morning I saw a man pouring lighter fluid all over a pile of leaves he was about to burn, and as he was doing this he had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Hmmm, something seems a little off with that!

Bye Bye Hyundai?

2005-11-13T10:46:00.000-08:00

My car blew up this past week. Ok, so maybe it didn't literally "explode", but no matter what the thing doesn't work anymore. I was on the road all last week, and on Friday I was on my way to my location when my car suddenly lurched and shifted weird (I was on cruise control) and the next thing I knew my thermostat was on hot and my car died and I was on the side of the interstate, one mile from my exit, with stinky steam/smoke barreling out from under my hood. I started calling everyone I could think of because I am honestly clueless in matters such as these. A cop came and put water in my radiator (the cap had blown off and spewed antifreeze all over my car), but to no avail, the car would not start. So now I have to get it towed and have the tow guy take me to work. Then I spend all afternoon/evening back and forth with Hyundai trying to get my car towed from the tiny little town I was in to the Hyundai dealer in Springfield. After 3 calls and 3 quotes (the first lady would only tow it to MO!), I finally got it to Springfield. I will find out tomorrow the prognosis. My engine is supposed to be covered for 100,000 miles or ten years, but I just have this fear they will figure out some way to finagle out of the warranty and I will be stuck with a huge bill. Needless to say the timing is just wonderful!

I am on the road again this week starting tomorrow, so I have to take Aaron's car, and let him work out with his family how everyone is getting everywhere. I feel bad, like I am a burden. He had to drive 2 hours one way yesterday to pick me from where I was, and my co worker had to drive me to my hotel on Friday and pick me up on Saturday morning. I don't like feeling so codependent. Hopefully I will have my car back by the end of the week, and Hyundai will give me a good deal. I got a kick butt deal from them to tow my car, so who knows! I just hope she isn't dead, I need her for 6 more months so I can sell her!

The Vern

2005-11-07T22:35:00.000-08:00

Well I finished what was officially the suckiest week of sales so far. I was pretty mad/frustrated on Friday, but on Saturday I was helping three ladies from a group home select their pictures, and one of the girls told me that she liked me and that I was nice. I thanked her and that is when I remembered my goal in this job, "It is not about the sales, it is about the people". So that finally turned my attitude around. My sales were lackluster, but I was enjoying time with people. There was even a little girl I played "get your picture taken" with for a few minutes. She took me to a chair told me to smile as she hid behind a chair making a clicking sound. She then took my hand to take me to a table to "show" me my pictures, and starting spouting out numbers like she had obviously just heard in the other room. She was so cute!

I spent the weekend in the Vern, also known as home. It was nice to be back for a couple days. Mom and I went shopping on Saturday night and I bought a couple things for my birthday. Dad is doing better, I hung out with him today. I hope he gets to feeling much better soon. He still can't drive, and he gets pretty uncomfortable.

I also found out I may not have a ten year class reunion next year which sucks. As much as I hate the thought of being that old, I was looking forward to seeing where everyone is, who married who, what people are doing, and look like, etc. But apparently none of the student council people want to organize it. Boo!

I keep getting asked for my Christmas list...I have no ideas!!!

I AM a girl!

2005-10-31T21:19:00.000-08:00

I just finished a very girly day. My mom in law took me shopping today for makeup (per my request). We went to Kohl's (I like that their makeup goes on sale) and I spent an hour with the consultant chicky, playing with makeup and learning how to put it all on (yes I am a moron). I even got free samples! Score! I must admit, I am enjoying being all made up! Then on Wednesday, I am getting my hair done. What is happening to me? I am wearing skirts now, bought my first pair of heels, and am getting my makeup and hair done! I guess I am just growing up and becoming a woman! (Only took 27 years for that to happen!)

Well Rufus is cashed out on the floor, and I am starting to feel a bit sleepy. I guess it is off to bed!

Dad

2005-10-31T07:25:00.000-08:00

My dad's surgery went fine. He came home on Saturday, but poor guy is going to be pretty uncomfortable until next Friday when he finally gets to lose the catheter. The dr said his prostate looked good so hopefully that is all good news. They will test his PSA levels again to make sure they got everything.

I have a light week of work, it is still five days, but I get Monday and Wednesday off. I am excited about that. Then saturday I am going home to the Vern through Tuesday morning! It will be nice to spend time with the fam, and maybe this time around I can catch up with some of my friends there too!

Please pray

2005-10-27T21:50:00.000-07:00

My dad has surgery tomorrow morning around 11 am to remove his prostate. Please, please keep him in your prayers. I believe in the power of prayer and I trust God, but there is still a part of me that is totally terrified. We won't find out until after the surgery if the cancer spread.

Honestly I have no idea how I would handle it if I found out it spread.

It scares me to think that my dad lost his father when he was the same age as me. I don't know how he did that.

Please pray for my mom as well. I am feeling guilty now that I didn't go down. She is going to be there all alone for 4 hours while dad is in surgery. They told me not to come, and I know they meant it, and I really need to work, but I feel bad.

Thanks everyone.

Communion

2005-10-27T07:55:00.000-07:00

I never realized how much I missed communion until this past Sunday. The church that we attend now, does not have communion on a regular basis (I hear they do it on Wednesday at their "Believer's" service, but I work) so I have missed it, but then last Sunday when we went to our old church up North, I was so excited when I saw the word "Communion" up on the screen. My heart was racing and when I took that cup and bread and held it in my hands I began to tear up, it was so wonderful to be able to worship through that expression again. Something I had taken for granted for so long, now had a much deeper significance to me.

It was also so great to walk into a church (we couldn't even get in the door before we were mauled by people hugging us) and just see people who love you, run over and hug you and encourage you. I know these people are lifting us up, and it is so great to know we have that support system.

It is lonely here. My work schedule makes it practically impossible to join a small group. Aaron is in the worship band, and I hope to join the choir, if my work schedule allows. It was nice to come in anonymous at the beginning, but now I am craving to know people and to be known. I am craving to not be an outsider looking in.

Unexpected Day Off

2005-10-26T12:29:00.000-07:00

Our photographer is sick today and they couldn't find a replacement, so I just found out about an hour ago that I have the day off. But my boss said they will pay me today, so that is good. So since I don't want to waste a day, I am off to clean the apartment, go to church with my hubby tonight and enjoy a nice dinner together.

catching up

2005-10-25T09:26:00.000-07:00

It was great to go back up north this past weekend and see everyone again. Andy and Misty are the best hosts ever! Seriously, they inspire me to be a better hostess when and if we ever have any visitors!

The wedding was fun. The only people we knew were the bride and groom, and the maid of honor. They were old co workers of mine at Kiefer. Aaron performed the ceremony and it was great to be a part of the big day. They have been waiting for this for a long time.

Then Sunday we went back to North Point. I have to admit I was a bit nervous, because I had no idea what the response to us being back would be like. It was wonderful. We got hugs all around, and encouragement, and it felt good to be back. We even had people giving us hugs and welcoming us back, that we had no idea who they were! We had breakfast with the Rice girls, and it was so nice to see them, we talked college plans, and what they had been up to. Boy I miss those girls.

So that was my weekend in a nutshell. It was weird when we got into Gurnee it didn't feel like "home", like it does when I go to Bloomington, but it just felt nice to be back, and I felt a bit conflicted about going home, because it was so comfortable being back. Aaron said Bloomington feels more like home(even though I only lived there a year and a half) because that is where we started our life together. It is when we started dating, where we got engaged, married, and had our first place, so it will always hold a special place for us. Made sense to me.

Week in review

2005-10-17T17:35:00.000-07:00

Another week gone by. It is hard on the weeks where I am on the road for 6 days straight. Mainly because it feels like for that week, work is my life. It is hotels and churches, and time in the car. I enjoy it for about 3 days and everytime by day 4 I hit a wall and need to get home. This time around it was my Friday. I couldn't sell anything and our photographer decides it is time to quiz me and talk to me about things I need to improve, etc. It was so condescending I wanted to kick him in the head! So after a night of constant questioning, was I even cut out for this job, I emerged victorious, and shut that annoying guy up!

I have been reading Donald Miller's book, "Through Painted Deserts", and really enjoying it. I think the thing that inspires me the most and also has been the most in your face is the fact that they left with little, and trusted God and relied on the kindness of people. We are immersed in a culture that says we need this newest gadget, and we need a beautiful home/car/spouse, whatever to be happy. Yet after a few days on the road, hiking up and down one of God's amazing creations, the only thing they desired in life was a bowl of Raisin Bran. The simplicity was beautiful.

I realize I suffer from "stuffitis". I love clothes, I want nice things, I am quite frivolous with money. And now that money is so tight, I want to learn to be satisfied with the simple things in life. It isn't easy, I mean with my birthday only a couple weeks away, and a list of things I have requested for my birthday, and not wanting to turn any of those gifts down, it will be an uphill battle, each day trying to find pleasure not in my posessions, but in a sunset, or the fact that I have a roof over my head, a loving, incredible husband, and an amazing family.

Oh by the way...update on my dad. He is having surgery Oct 28 to remove his prostate. Please pray the the surgery goes smoothly with no complications or side effects and that it will remove the cancer completely.

not too much

2005-10-09T17:28:00.000-07:00

Not a lot going on here. Another week gone by. I will be leaving tomorrow morning and on the road through Saturday. Our computers are not too good, so I probably won't have access for 6 days. So everyone have a good week!

That was new!

2005-10-07T07:24:00.000-07:00

The church that I was at earlier this week was a new experience for me! Several same sex couples were members so I had lots of couples and families with same sex parents. I think it was so surprising to me because I was in Central Illinois and I always thought of it to be pretty conservative. Everyone was really friendly and pleasant until towards the end of the night. A couple came and the one lady had her teenage grandson (how weird would it be to you if Grandma had a girlfriend?), anyway, she must have had a chip on her shoulder. When I was showing her pictures, they had taken most pictures of all three, and he had one couple shot. She didn't like the shot and accused us of taking more pictures of straight couples. (I am not sure when she would have seen the options we were providing straight couples, but if they came in a family unit, you only get one shot of the couple) I informed her that I had been doing this all night and they received the same total as everyone else. She rolled her eyes and basically said "whatever." The photographer took a few extra shots and as I was showing them, she saw another lesbian couple getting their picture taken and she then complained that they got better poses. Well she finally purchased some pictures and left. I can't imagine walking around with a chip on my shoulder like that. Always thinking people are shorting you or are out to get you. Maybe that happens to that couple a lot, everyone else was fine. If you live your life always as a victim, you will miss out on so much.

I was talking to my partner yesterday, and apparently work is pretty scarce after Christmas, this is why so many have side businesses like Avon, or their own little business, to keep money coming in when things slow down. So of course now I am thinking that I may need to add another little something to keep an income coming in. I was kind of exploring becoming a Tastefully Simple Consultant. Any ideas?

too much time

2005-10-03T15:31:00.000-07:00

One of the pitfalls of having too much time on my hands now is that I am thinking about and evaluating my life constantly. I think I must have been a workaholic for the past 3 1/2 years so I didn't have to do that, so now I am staring at myself thinking, what am I doing with my life? For so long I was the pastor's wife, I was defined by what I did, that I think I have forgotten deep down who I am. Maybe this is why God has placed us in this holding pattern for awhile. I need to remember who that girl was who ran to Him with reckless abandon, who still had a sense of adventure and wanted to learn more.

I am starting to think that maybe television is the antichrist, only because I am so lazy and I can veg in front of it for hours instead of living life to the fullest. This afternoon I had the house to myself (Aaron went up north for the Fooweezer concert as a thank you for a wedding he was in a couple months back). So I sat out on his parents large beautiful deck, turned the fountain on in the backyard and curled up with a good book and listended to the sounds of the wind blowing through the trees and the water flowing and took a large exhale and basked in God's beautiful, peaceful creation that I have overlooked time and time again. I need to do more of that. I need to do more to get myself out of this basement apartment and take more advantage of this free time that I have been blessed with. Now I just wish we had some money to go out and be adventurous.

Well I think I am going to go into the kitchen and see what kind of masterpiece dinner I can create for myself!

Karen, thanks for calling today, I appreciated that so much. I am terrible at making an effort to call and even email friends, that is probably why I do not have the deep life long friendships like my husband and so many others I know have. So thank you and I hope you enjoyed your visit!

What happened???

2005-10-02T13:12:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling so apathetic lately towards the church. Going seems more like a duty then something I look forward to. I even said to Aaron last night when I realized I wasn't going to get off work in time to go to Saturday service, "too bad, I wanted to get it out of the way." How did I get here?

I have been dissatisfied for several years now and it only seems to get worse. I can't walk into a service without criticizing practically everything I see or hear. When I was at our last church there was a stretch where I was in the building on Sundays, but did not go to a service for 6 weeks. I was finding myself walking out more frustrated than refreshed, so why allow myself to continue being frustrated? We haven't really found a church here. We are going to the church Aaron's family goes to, and it is ok, but I think I spend so much time criticizing and overananlyzing everything that I am pushing out the voice of God and anything he may be trying to share with me. Am I letting personal preferences get in the way?

The only times I have felt refreshed after attending a church service in recent years seems to be when I go to the church I grew up in. Sure the worship isn't "my style" but for some reason when I am there I don't care. I often find myself on the verge of tears in worship and being refreshed and held up by God. The sermons have a tinge of self help "how to" to them, but they take it a step deeper, tugging at my heart and sharing messages that have drop kicked me time and time again. Is it because I am home? Is it because I don't know all the backstage dramas? Why can't I be content?

At the old church is was the next place will be better, now it is holding out till we can go to Boston. Where did things go so wrong? Where is my passion?

Fun facts for the night....

2005-10-01T21:59:00.000-07:00

I saw a transvestite prostitute in Decatur, IL, as I stood outside a church in downtown.

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Kanye West is on SNL, I heard him in an interview the other day saying he speaks on behalf of God, I wonder how God feels about that.

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When I was on the road a couple weeks ago, I was passing a semi truck with a sign on the back that read: "Female Body Inspector 70 ft ahead, show me what you got!" Repulsive, but I will admit I chuckled for a moment for his creativity.

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I saw a pimped out VW bug the other night with a spoiler almost as big as the car. The guy was standing beside it in the parking lot of Texas Roadhouse trying to impress the ladies. Isn't that the car with a vase in the dashboard???!!!! Perhaps this is why I have only seen women driving them! You don't look too hard standing outside of your pimped out chick mobile! Ah, Central IL

Churches

2005-09-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

I have been to several interesting churches lately. Mostly Lutheran and Presbyterian. They are often these old buildings about 100 years old in downtown areas. Often they will let us go and look at the sanctuary, and oh my goodness they are so beautiful. Then we comment how they don't make churches like this anymore. I wonder how people feel when they walk into sanctuaries like that. Are they reminded like me of past generations who have so faithfully served? I find myself getting almost misty eyed on occasion when I walk and think of the history and the reverance for God these people have/had. Are they reminded of their childhood and have negative thoughts? There is a part of me that likes the liturgy and some of the traditions. But many of these churches are also dying. One church we were at had about 3 young families, everyone else was elderly and on their way home.

Boring Tuesday

2005-09-27T20:58:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to work today at 2, but at 1:15 my manager called to inform me that the church cancelled for today and forgot to let us know. I was just putting on my shoes to leave when she called. What really sucks is if I had alrady been at the church when we found out, I would have been paid a small amount today, but the church was in town so I had not left yet, therefore nothing. I was already starting to get a little bored, so I didn't want to waste a day. I decided to clean (which is crazy, Aaron always complains about how clean the place is until I come home.), and I also put the finishing touches on the apartment, putting up the rest of our pictures. It is now complete.

Then, let me give you all a laugh...I ordered something from an infomercial a couple weeks ago, Billy Blanks Bootcamp.

Let me give everyone a minute to regain your composure...

So I decided to go ahead and do a workout today, and holy hell it is hard! 50 minutes of totally kicking my butt! I hope I can get out of bed tomorrow! That and I have to lug a ton of equipment into the church tomorrow. Well my day of total boredom has worn me out. I think I may turn in a little early tonight.

Good night all

Surreal

2005-09-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

I have been home since Saturday evening, and I still can't seem to wrap my brain around the fact that I am home for good. Aaron pointed out that in the past month I have been home for a total of 7 days. I am so used to being in transition, that the fact that I am now settled is taking time to get used to.

Last week went well with my final week of training. Due to a shortage of staff I was put onto my own table on Friday, two days earlier than most trainees. That meant I started working on commission a couple days early. I was pretty nervous, but it went pretty well. This week I am in Decatur and a town about 20 minutes away which means I get to be home every night. I also have the same schedule next week, with Monday off.

So maybe now I can finish unpacking stuff, and do my part around the house. For now I am going to drink my tea and soak up the fact that I am home.

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It is pretty lonley here. We don't really have a core to share life with. The church we have been going to is lacking in people our age. Aaron and I were talking about wanting to start a small group. We want to build a community, a group that shares life together, but not being members of the church (and there is no way I am sitting through another Saddleback rip off "get to know our church and become a member class.") I am thinking our thought of starting a group that way may be more of a pipe dream. I don't even know where to begin to do something like that outside of the church. My friend Gentry has a house church out East, but in the midwest where we have churches coming out of our ears, would people even respond to something like that? I don't want a social club, just people to commune with in deeper ways than groups I have ever been in.

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I made dinner tonight for the entire family. I made Skyline Chili. I had to tone it down a couple notches, because Aaron's mom doesn't like spicy food and well it is a pretty kickin chili. It was nice to cook again and what many people might not know about me is that I love cooking for other people, the opportunity just hasn't presented itself very often. I have these delusions of grandeur of someday hosting dinner parties and enjoying time with others and being "adults". Sarah I know you are probably on the floor laughing at the moment as you remember my burnt and crispy rice and various other cooking disasters, but I promise I have improved!

Home

2005-09-18T10:55:00.000-07:00

I arrived back home last night around 6:30. It is so nice to be back. Of course I get to leave early again tomorrow morning to be gone through Saturday. Boo! I am in Davenport, Macomb, and Galesburg next week.

I was wrong, they were able to wear me out, I am EXHAUSTED!! I drove a total of 635 miles last week and worked from 10-9 or 9:30 almost everyday! I think next week may suck even more, but then my trainer says that when I am on my own it will feel like a vacation. I can't wait to not have homework anymore! Granted it is lame stuff to teach me how to "romance" or "woo" customers (I call it BS), and honestly I suck at it! "Oh what a lovely necklace, those colors look great with your skin tones, you still look so in love, look at your handsome husband", I don't know if my gag reflex can take much more!

I think I like it so far, I am still a bit too tired and overwhelmed to get a total feel for everything.

In a totally different direction (to steal from Gentry, notes from Captain random), Aaron and I went out for dinner last night. While we were waiting there was a Suburban that tried to pull into a parking space that was a little too tight for it, it went into reverse to straighten out and it starts beeping!! You know like the big concrete trucks or other large trucks do when they back up. Note to those people: IF YOU TRUCK HAS TO BEEP TO BACK UP IN DAY TO DAY MANEUVERS, IT IS TOO BIG!!!! No wonder gas prices are so outrageous. And I am pretty sure there were only two people who got out of the car, both very tiny women.

Another captain random...Aaron and I slept in this morning, his dad came home and called us heathens. But anyway, we were flipping through channels and the Methodist church in town had their "contemporary service" Fresh Start on. I told Aaron I was curious to see what a traditional methodist church considers contemporary. Well needless to say it sucked, but my favorite, they did the old "Mercy is falling" song, and the adult leaders were doing the actions!!!!! Then they would pan into the crowd and you would see all these adults doing the "hey oh, and I receive your mercy, hey oh and I receive your grace, hey oh and I will dance for evermore." Really bad. The best was every once in awhile they would show a shot from the crowd and you could see this kid probably 15 or 16 surrounded by adults looking like complete idiots, with his hands in his pockets and a "someone please shoot me now" look on his face.

That is about all, I don't get my laptop until Thursday, something about people getting them in their first week and never coming back. So I will hopefully be able to update more then! Until then!

Computers!

2005-09-13T10:07:00.000-07:00

Lucky me! The hotel I am staying in today has a computer lab! I have completed my first day of training, and I must admit, it was a bit exhausting. Leaving at 9:30 in the morning and driving three hours then working until 9:30 last night, I was exhausted!

I am learning on the job though instead of classroom orientation which is nice. I learn better in a hands on environment. Oh my goodness there is so much to learn! Last night I brought people in and learned how to do the computer to show them their pictures. There was a lady who was 96 and the cutest little old lady! I hope I can still be as jovial as she was when I am older.

I have homework during my 2 week "boot camp style" training! Last night I had to memorize an opening script and some pricing, and I just learned that I am going to have to do the script with people today! Eek!

I know I am a naive person, but I have to admit I was honestly surprised when I found out that my coworkers aren't church goers for the most part just sales people. They use some tactics I am not too fond of, so I may do them for the two weeks and then tweak it a bit to fit me. In my crazy mind I think that maybe just maybe I can show people in the churches that I am not your stereotypical salesperson only about the numbers, but a person who genuinely cares for and loves people. I hope that in those 15-30 minutes they are with me, they can see that I am different and I can share God's love with them. How cheesy am I!!!??? Well back to class!

The Big Day

2005-09-11T23:24:00.000-07:00

I am all packed and I leave tomorrow morning at 9:30 to begin six fun filled days of training for my new job. I am filled with the thoughts I always have when I start a new job (mainly because every job has been so different, and this is the most unlike any job I have ever held.) Will I be a good salesperson? I am really stoked I won't have to answer phones anymore and be someone's secretary.

When I spoke with my trainer on the phone today he was telling me that Thursday will be the day I have class to really learn things, and that I am more or less going to be slammed with stuff this week. He said we wouldn't start until 10 on Thursday because I would be so exhausted. I wonder if that will really happen. I mean in the interview she asked about my energy level and how demanding the job is and I almost felt like laughing out loud. I mean I am a workaholic who has always held a 40 hour a week job and then about 10-20 hours of student ministry work where you have to always be "on". It is hard for me to imagine my life being more chaotic and exhausting than it has for the past 3 1/2 years, but we will see what they have to throw at me!

Don't forget Aaron's birthday is Tuesday,send him some love

I may get my laptop this week so hopefully I can share stories with you, otherwise you will have to wait until Sunday! Well I am off to bed! Goodnight all!

Does this mean I like Country?

2005-09-10T12:00:00.000-07:00

I made my final Chicagoland departure last night and I realized, I am really going to miss Q101. I mean where else can I hear Squirrel Nut Zippers, The Cranberries, and Bjork all in the same drive home? Once the station went fuzzy (and I held on until I couldn't even recognize a song anymore), I said my sad goodbye and popped in my new Nickel Creek CD. It is freaking awesome! I always have considered them folk/bluegrass, but in my Itunes it had it as country. So does that mean I like country? I think I will continue to call it folk/bluegrass, I can't lose face being that I have been adamant that country is of the devil.

Then when I was tired of listening to the CD for the 3rd time, I decided to cruise through the stations down here. All pop stations and rap (worse than country in my book) and very white people trying to sound ghetto. I heard the phrase "hollaback" more than I care to remember. I really need an Ipod *hint, hint*.

On a completely different note, we have mice in our apartment. Aaron set traps and we caught one last night. I heard a strange sound at about 4:30 this morning that I finally figured out must have been a trap. I looked at the traps I knew about, but couldn't find anything. Rufus pooped on the stairs today and I scolded him and put him in his cage. I closed the bedroom door when Aaron informed me there was a trap behind it. I went back in and sure enough there in the trap was a mouse. I jump on the bed and Aaron jumped out of the room. We had to get his dad to come and dispose of the body. What a couple of wusses we are!

Playing Grown up

2005-09-07T13:51:00.000-07:00

I purchased my first pair of heels this past weekend. Maybe that is why I am not thought of as an adult, I don't totally dress like one! I have been wearing my heels all week to "practice" so I don't look like a freak next week at the new job. I have found I am good most of the day with the exception of in the morning coming into work. I am like a doe just learning to use it's legs, a bit wobbly, but I haven't fallen yet!

I received a call from my trainer today. I start on Monday instead of Tuesday and I am gone Monday-Saturday!!!! It is because we are up in his territory around Eastern IA, so that is where I will be all week hanging out in hotels, my new life. It kinda stinks that I will be out of town the week of Aaron's birthday, September 13 send him some love I am really excited to start my new job, but I am nervous because it really is different from what I have done before. I hope I do well. They say the two weeks of training are pretty intense!!!!

I am hoping that when I start on my own in Central IL it won't be so far away that I am gone for that long every week!

Going Home

2005-09-04T21:36:00.000-07:00

In light of everything that is going on with my dad, I felt it a good idea to go home this weekend. Another bonus of living here is that I am now only 2 1/2 hours away from home rather than 6. So Aaron and I went down yesterday and spent the past two days with the family. My sister is still at home and my grandma came over so we had the whole family for dinner last night. My dad is looking at two possible and very different treatments, so prayers for my family as dad and mom try to figure out which is the best treatment option for him would be much appreciated. My dad coaches football and he said yesterday morning the team surrounded him and prayed for him, and he is in an online community of IL coaches and they passed the news along and 4 pages of support and encouragment followed, amazing.

This morning we all went to church together, another very nice thing. The church has a prayer time at the end of service for people to come forward and people come and pray with you. Dad grabbed my mom to go down, and I took Aaron and my sister down to go pray with them. It was crazy, I completly lost it before I even got to them. My sister and I sat together and hugged as we all try to sort this whole thing out. We are all trying to be strong I know, but it doesn't take much to crack us.

My family isn't so good with the whole emotion thing.

Invincible

2005-08-31T13:56:00.000-07:00

When you are a little kid you think your mom and dad are invincible, and in some ways I think I still thought that way even as an adult.

So it has been kind of surreal this past week when my dad had to go in for tests and have a biopsy, and then today we receive the news I never expected to hear. Your dad has cancer. Thankfully it was only 2 of the 12 biopsies that were cancerous, and they caught it early, and they will run a bone scan tomorrow to make sure it didn't spread to the bone, and then they will decide on treatment. I am very positive and hopeful that everything will be fine, but it is a somber reminder that my dad is human and that he can get sick and won't always be here, and that is a scary thing to face.

I am sorry I have not told most of you all that has been going on. The way I deal with things is to not really talk about them, probably in hopes that if I don't talk about them it won't be real. That and I don't like to cry or get emotional in front of other people. I know it isn't the healthiest way to handle these kind of situations, but that is what I do.

So prayers would be appreciated. I am doing ok, just a little emotionally rattled, but I have trust in God to heal and take care of my Dad.

Where is my mind....

2005-08-30T16:14:00.000-07:00

My wonderful husband in his crazy blog explosion fetish, opened up a whole new world for me, when he stumbled across the blogs of several old friends and acquaintances from college. I have had so much fun just reading and rediscovering old relationships, it is so exciting.

Aaron and I were talking the other night about as we read so many of our friends blogs, we find ourselves feeling almost "unworthy" to post on their sites. I mean they have these beautifully written musings about the world around them, and all I have to offer are these shallow, half baked posts about things. I wish I could craft thought provoking posts, but words fail me.

Maybe someday the semi-intelligent mind I once had will return. But is it true if you don't use it, you lose it?

It's done, It's done!

2005-08-28T07:14:00.000-07:00

Aaron and I worked our tails off yesterday, and I am happy to report our new place is complete, with the exception of a couple things in the kitchen as we wait for the sink to be installed and one final cabinet, everything is done! Pictures are on the wall, our fun scrapbook we received is in a prominent place on our bookshelf for all (if we do ever have visitors who aren't Aaron's parents) to see!

We are going to church at Aaron's parents today, and then sometime this afternoon I will make my journey back up north. Only one more weekend that I will have to go back up on a Sunday! I get to take his mom's SUV back too to load up the rest of the stuff at Andy and Misty's house. I love her car!

Dunzo

2005-08-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

So after two weeks of hell, I am starting to see the end of the tunnel. I have the greatest friends in the whole wide world and on Thursday, Andy, Misty and Kelly, helped me finish cleaning the old apartment. I turn the keys in on Sunday, and I will be finished with that place!

Now the new home is another story. The kitchen is still not completed, so most of our stuff is still in boxes. There are also a TON of tools and countertops and stuff all over the floor. I was hoping to not have to do a lot of work this weekend because I have been working so hard the past two weeks trying to get everything into place, but now I will hope for next weekend 4 days to rest and not work on a home. Oh a girl can dream...

Putting my foot in my mouth...

2005-08-24T15:37:00.000-07:00

Aaron takes great joy in the fact that I have to put my foot in my mouth.... I received a call today.... I got the job!!!!!!!!!!! I had to hold my composure when she offered it to me, I was in so much shock! I was sure when she called and began talking, she was preparing me for the letdown! So I start my new job on September 13!! Happy Birthday Aaron! I will have a totally different schedule now that I am in sales, but more pay, benefits, and a job with a national company, everything I was hoping for! Thanks to everyone for your prayers, it means more than you know!

When I found out I got the job I called Aaron...voicemail, my dad...voicemail, my mom...voicemail, Aaron's mom...voicemail, I thought I was going to have to grab the first person I saw in Office Max and say "I GOT THE JOB!!!" It still seems surreal!

This is my new life...for now

2005-08-23T09:26:00.000-07:00

I didn't get the job I interviewed for last week. I was supposed to hear back from them on Friday and even since leaving a message yesterday, have heard nothing. It really makes me mad that people can't have the common courtesy to at least call or email, or whatever to inform me I didn't get the job so I am not sitting around waiting just in case.

Aaron and the dog left yesterday to go down to our new home. I started my new 10 hour day schedule, only to come home to a crapload of cleaning to be done in our old apartment by the time I leave on Thursday. There is nothing I love more than cleaning let me tell you. So that will be my life this week. I get to go home on Thursday, to help set up my other home. One day I will get to just go somewhere and rest and not have housework to do. I can't wait.

It is looking more and more like I will be staying up here for the next 9 months with the 4 day work week and 3 day weekends to see my family. I am hoping to ask for a raise so that I can go see my family on weekends, with gas prices, and my tiny salary, it is looking more and more like I won't be able to go home every weekend if prices keep going up. BOO! But I am so good (yeah right) at asking for things like that, so we will see!

Christian Craziness

2005-08-19T12:53:00.000-07:00

As Christians we are to be a reflection of God's love for the world around us and make Jesus famous. With so many of the things I see Christians doing these days, it is not surprising to me that so many are turned off to Christianity.

On another note, I received a funny phone call today. A lady in the church called me to ask if we were still not supposed to shop at Abercrombie and Fitch. I thought that funny because it was like I am the spokesperson for the Christian nation. I think it funny when we as Christians say we need to "boycott" things like Disneyworld, Proctor and Gamble, and wasn't it Liz Claiborne that we were supposed to boycott because she gave money to the Church of Satan? I just told her I didn't know anything about it. She said she got an email from some justice league or something telling them that as Christians we are to boycott it. Silly I tell you.

I mean I boycott A & F, but for different reasons. Why pay $50 for a shirt that only tiny people can fit in? I don't want to feel fat because the only size I can fit into there is XXL! And I am not that big thank you!

Dreams

2005-08-18T08:58:00.000-07:00

Aaron thinks I am weird because I have these crazy dreams that totally stress me out and I remember so much about them when I wake up and he never remembers his at all.

So last night's dream was that I went to test drive a car for fun, and the owner duped me and the forms I filled out actually stated I purchased the car! It was $19,000 and I suddenly received a bill. I went to them to tell them I didn't buy the car and they wouldn't listen to me. Then I was scared Aaron would find out and kill me because we have no money. So of course I was stressing out.

So do you have crazy dreams that you remember? Or I am really just a total freak!

I am totally freaking out!

2005-08-16T18:35:00.000-07:00

So by now everyone should know my interview debacle from last week. Well apparently I should have been more trusting, because the lady called me back and I have an interview tomorrow! So that is good, but if I don't get it, I seriously don't know what to do. I have asked a lot of the church to let me off these past two days to move and now here I am asking for practically another full day off so I can find another job and leave them.

I would be so happy if I could get the job though, as I was driving down here last night all I kept thinking about was how this place wasn't really my home. Yeah, all my stuff is here, but I won't be for the most part. With gas prices there is no way I can come home every weekend. It made it pretty hard to set things up last night. It also has me to the point that I am willing to work two jobs even if they aren't my favorite jobs in the world if it meant I could stay down here. So prayers again would be so much appreciated!

Reflections

2005-08-14T16:06:00.000-07:00

Well I am almost through my day, and I must say things are going well. This morning was nice, not a lot of goodbyes, which may seem weird, but I am glad we can just kind of step out unnoticed. I know that in an hour it will be rough with the high school students, these are my kids, the students I have spent the most time with and poured so much of myself into. I wanted to share with you guys an event that happened this morning, that may have been one of my proudest moments in ministry.

We had a student get baptized this morning. Now it isn't that this particular student's baptism meant more to me than any of the other students, I think it was the baptism and the events that followed that were the perfect icing on the cake as we leave this ministry. Joseph is one of those kids that was accepted into the student community the way it should be. He came because a mutual friend invited him. He started coming to small group, and was accepted immediately, it was like he had always been there. 2 years later after CIY he decides that he wants to be baptized, telling the world that he is a follower of Christ. Aaron baptized him (what a privilege), and this is my favorite part....

When Joseph came out of the baptistry, students and adults rushed the stage. I mean they got out of their seats and ran across the auditorium to run over and hug him and on that corner of the stage was a little glimpse of heaven, people rejoicing, singing, hugging, celebrating, community.

I lost it right there in my spot, I wanted to run and join, but I wanted to enjoy the moment as well, watching these students I love so much, just love on one another, truly amazing.

What a way to go. Thanks for everything guys. I love you all.

Moving moving moving

2005-08-13T07:56:00.000-07:00

*Sing that title like the old "Rawhide song"* sorry, it popped into my head.

Today is the big packing day. Woo hoo! I was feeling pretty frazzled and freaked. Then Zach came by to pick up the couch, entertainment unit, and coffee table. Suddenly it hit me that in reality I only have 3 rooms left to pack up, and that isn't so scary. I do think Monday will be a crazy day because it will be the end of an era.

I have no idea what to expect tomorrow. I don't want to cry all day, but I know I will. I hate goodbyes, so I hope I am not callous tomorrow because I am trying to avoid becoming over emotional.

Wow, I have been a lot of places!

2005-08-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

Now I just need to fill in the gaps. I think this should be a life goal!

It's the little things that stay with us

2005-08-10T07:24:00.000-07:00

We had dinner with our friends Kelly and Michelle Marschel last night. They were one of the first friends we made here at North Point 2 1/2 years ago, and then life happened and we didn't get to spend as much time with one another anymore. It was nice to get together and enjoy dinner (Michelle is an amazing cook), and share stories and just laugh.

They made us a gift to say thanks and good luck. Michelle interviewed students and other sponsors and staff in the church asking them to share a favorite memory, things they would miss, and things they had learned. It was such a sweet and touching gesture. While watching the video last night, I realized that so many of the things people remembered about us, they were small gestures, things that some may deem insignificant moments in passing. But God took those moments, those few words, or that hug, or whatever was said or done, and used it to move people, to grab a hold of people, and share His love. That is when you are reminded, that ministry really has nothing to do with me, but it is all about God working in the still small moments that touch people's lives and change them forever. When we are gone, we won't be remembered for the programs, but for those small moments we have shared with each and everyone of you. So thank you, thank you for the kind words, for making me laugh, for reminding me that I can still be fun and crazy, even though somewhere in my overworked life, I don't do it as much as I used to. Thanks for letting me be a part of your life, and your kind words and gestures will be treasured by me always. I love you guys!

Good News/Bad News

2005-08-09T15:50:00.000-07:00

Today was the interview. I drive down, looking sharp in my newly purchased suit, and arrive an hour early. I waited and then had my interview. Another person showed up for his interview so we did a group thing where she explained the company and then she interviewed each of us individually. As she begins to talk with me she asks me if I applied through Careerbuilder. I tell her that I found it in the Pantagraph, and she says, "I don't know how to tell you this" This of course is the sentence everyone wants to hear at a job interview. That ad was supposed to be pulled because the person who held the position resigned and then changed their mind. Since she saw I had an 847 number she assumed I was applying for the Chicago/Wisconsin position. So my hopes are crushed and I am sure I looked a bit disheartened (Wouldn't you be)

Then she tells me that she thinks I could be a portrait consultant to the Bloomington area, she doesn't hire that position so I have to contact someone else and hope they are hiring, otherwise this entire day was for nothing. So needless to say, I am very disappointed, and the skeptic in me says that she only told me there might be a pc position in hopes of lessening the blow and not making it a totally worthless trip. So I will call this new person tomorrow, and see if I still have a chance for a good paying job, albeit totally different, but maybe I would be better at it. So at the end of the day...I am still nowhere.

Restless

2005-08-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

Last night I became really restless. We had some students over last night to play Scruples "the game of moral dilemma", which was a blast, but after they left, I just became restless. I couldn't get to sleep. Maybe it was the realization that I really do have to pack this week, and this time next week I will be full on moving to my new home for the next year. But it won't really be my home because I will still be up here 4 days a week. I don't like being in transisition.

I finally fell asleep, but then at 5:30 I was jolted out of sleep by who knows what, and I just felt so anxious, so I started praying for God to give me peace about everything that is going on, and for strength to get through what I think will be a difficult week emotionally. Abot 45 minutes later I finally fell back to sleep, but by then it was almost time for me to get up.

My interview is tomorrow at 4. I am really scared because I really want this job, and I am so scared for the let down if I don't get it. My self esteem always hits rock bottom when I am on a job search and it is less than fruitful. I am still pretty confident, but if I am turned down for this, something that I really want, how am I going to react? I wanted the job at LCC, but more for the fact that Aaron's schooling would be paid for. I didn't get the job, but I was ok with that, it wasn't a position I really wanted anyway, but this is. Oh the drama. Sometimes it sucks to be a grown up.

Wow this is harder than I thought

2005-08-06T07:27:00.000-07:00

I mean I knew that saying goodbye would be tough, but I have done it so many times before I figured it would be like all the other times. But the closer the 14th gets the more I am beginning to realize this goodbye isn't going to be like all the others, and this one is going to kick my butt.

It started Wednesday at staff meeting with Zach praying for Aaron and I and the new journey we are about to go on. I started tearing up, and was trying to remain cool, so I didn't lose it in staff meeting. I mean I am scared. I usually have somewhat of an idea what to expect when I start a new chapter, but this time around, I am so clueless as to what to expect, what is going to happen.

Then it really hit yesterday. The new guy came yesterday. Aaron cleared out all of his books and cleared off his desk, and I walked back there to get something out of the refrigerator, and it wasn't Aaron's office anymore, sure his name is still on the outside of the door, but it is Matt's office now. Students were surrounding him getting to know him, and I realized the baton is already passed and we only have one week left.

We went out for dinner last night with Zach and Andrea, Megan, and the new high school director, Matt. It was so much fun to sit around telling stories and laughing so hard we cried or almost spit our drinks all over one another. These people have become so dear to me, and I enjoy hanging out with them so much. Matt is an awesome guy and I know the students are going to love him, it is just going to be hard as I stay up here working watching the students attach themselves to someone else. Before when we have moved from a church, I haven't had to see that, but this time I will have a front row seat, and I don't know how hard that will be for me.

So this chapter in my life is about to end, but a new chapter is about to begin. I hope I can make it through this week, I really hate saying goodbye.

Moving On

2005-07-28T13:02:00.000-07:00

I just came back from a week of CIY. My fifth and final year. We ran into Robin (CIY Director) and told him it was our last and what our plans our and he told us this is not our last year. Who knows what that means. Anyway, this past week was one of the most frustrating and rewarding weeks I have ever experienced with the students. Wednesday started off with me wanting to strangle the students for the level of disrespect they were showing not only myself, but our other sponsors, but by the end of the night, we had all been "drop kicked by Jesus" to quote Justin. I saw hearts that had become hardened shatter into a million pieces. Students who had been running away from God were know running back into His open arms. I saw students comforting one another and praying for one another. What a blessing.

I also ran into a former student I had when I did Campus Life at LCC. He was in 6th grade then, and he is now a senior in high school and planning to go to LCC after he graduates to go into youth ministry. He was such an awesome kid! He didn't remember me, but he remembered Aaron (he is a little hard to forget!) and we caught up with him for a bit.

It is hard to think that in like 2 1/2 weeks I will be out of student ministry. It is kind of bittersweet. I can't wait though for the day when I run into some of these former students and hear all the amazing ways God is continuing to work in their lives! This is one of those times when ministry in spite of all the stress and heartache is so worth it.

I Got One!

2005-07-26T18:50:00.000-07:00

So I finally have a job interview!!!

The church already announced that I am staying here (a little earlier than I expected, like less than a week later it was announced to the whole church), but we all agree it is not the ideal for my marriage. They ask that I give them a one month notice if I find a job, so I am pretty much just looking for "can't pass this up" job opportunities. Dennis tells me every chance he gets how happy he is to have me staying on board, which of course makes me feel guilty for looking to leave, but I need to protect my marriage as well, and I want to be happy. That is my problem is I look to make everyone else happy and often cheat myself. I hope I don't do that this time.

So I have an interview on August 9th to be a Sales rep for a company that I feel I would do really well in. It sounds like they are interviewing a lot of people, so hopefully I can pull off smart and confident. I don't interview well, so pray it goes well, I really don't want to live the next 9 months away from my husband like that.

Beantown

2005-07-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

Hank was up here today to talk to Dennis about the Boston Partnership, and we talked with him for a bit after his meeting. I so totally wish that we could go now! This next year is going to be really hard with Aaron in school and me possibly staying up here, that I wish we could just go now. My mom is in NH right now at work camp and she called me last night and was telling me how excited everyone is about the Boston plant. I have wanted to do this for so long and it is here, but still so far away as I still have to wait another 9 months or more before I get to start the leg of this new journey. I am so excited that God is going to do some pretty kick butt awesome things, it is hard to be patient while we go through all the preparations of moving.

So yeah, we are a part of the movement with the Boston Partnership and if anyone else feels a tug to join the movement through prayer, financial support, or I don't know moving, they don't have the "official" site up and running yet, but there is a link with updates on the Restoration House Ministries Website at
Boston Partnership

Man Voice

2005-07-08T06:20:00.000-07:00

So I have been sick since Sunday, some sort of Sinus infection. Fun times. Yesterday was my first day back to work all week! So of course I am incredibly behind, but what am I doing, updating my site. It is all for the people.

When I get sick like this I lose my voice, what my roommates in college dubbed "the man voice". I am sure you are all wishing I could leave an audio post so you could reminisce while listening to my man voice. The other disturbing thing when I get sick like this is suddenly I hear the word "sexy" when people are talking to me. (Seriously the only time that word is used to describe me is when I am miserably sick, how sad.) In college a few of my male friends would describe my voice as "sexy" which was disturbing enough, but the other day a lady from church called and I answered the phone and she described my voice as "sexy"! Now that is freaky.

So sorry, no real exciting news going on at the moment. No news on the job front, but man, Aaron and I are wishing we could go to Boston now and not have to wait another year!

30 Days

2005-06-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Ok I know I write about this show a lot, but it is without a doubt the best show on television right now. Tonight they had a Christian man from West Virginia, move into a Muslim community in Dearborn, MI. As much as we as Christians say we are loving, I know I found myself with the same questions and fears as Dave. I was also really glad that the Christian guy wasn't a stereotypical overzealous Christian like they usually try to find for TV to exploit Christians as judgemental.

Dave went the extra mile to understand their faith, not condemn it, but understand it. He felt uncomfortable with some of the practices, and rather than just refusing to participate, he sought wise counsel to answer his questions. He as well as I were very impressed with the discipline muslims have and their very strong morals. They are constantly being criticized for 9/11, even though Islam is a peaceful religion. I am thankful for the show because it does show me my prejudices towards people, and hopefully I can be more open minded and not dub everyone who looks a certain way as a "terrorist", like so many Americans did on the episode. Very sad.

They will be replaying the episode on Sunday at 11 PM on FX.

Don't worry

2005-06-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

Things have finally settled down. This past weekend I went home and caught up with my best friend Aimee, hung out with the fam, and went to the home church for a little lovin'. Service on Sunday, could not have been at a better time. It is great how God does that to you. The sermon was on forgiveness, and it was not only good for me and my spirits, but Aaron and I plan on using it to teach our students, now that they are starting to try to work things out with one another. So many did like a 180 from Saturday to Sunday, and are talking to one another to work out differences. So yeah, we had one other drama, that was not student ministry related on Sunday evening, but I think that is all taken care of now. I actually slept well last night.

Still nothing on the job front. I sent in another application last week, and received a letter saying they received it, which is more than I can say for the other online apps I have filled out. The don't even give you a contact to check if they received it! Then I sent a hard copy to a place I am really interested in, and let's just say you would think at a place like this they would be a little more intelligent. I was told by my mom in law who knows the person who is leaving, that the person reviewing resumes wanted to know why I would want to commute from Gurnee. Hello! Did it not occur to them that people move? So I emailed the contact yesterday with the standard, let me know if you have any questions about my resume or references, oh and to clarify I will be relocating to the area. Never thought I would have to do that!

The dangers of online journaling

2005-06-25T19:27:00.000-07:00

Xangas, livejournals, blogs, whatever you use, there seems to be something they forget to warn you about when it comes to putting yourself out there like that. You are subject to coming under attack. I have never seen it more than I have this past week. The drama with the student ministry is continuing, now in xanga form. People saying things others don't like or agree with and then lashing out in a comment on their blog and turning what should be a private discussion into a public scuffle for all to enter into.

I feel horrible because the students are on the attack of our intern. They apparently have no probelm with Aaron or I, but when he comes down on them, trying to teach from the situation, he is told to "shut his mouth" (seriously, not exaggerating) by a student in his comments section. These students now consistently lodge complaints about him on their sites and others, and I know it rolls off him, but it upsets me. So many people feel they are the "victim and everything happens to them" and it is tiring. It has caused me to disable the comments section on my xanga so that it cannot continue to be used as a launching pad of attacks on him or anyone else for that matter, he had to make his xanga private and protected so that it can continue what it originally was, a way to keep in touch with his friends from college.

I set up my xanga as a way the students could keep in touch with me when I am gone. I have told them that I planning on discontinuing use of the page. A few students will get this site address when I leave, but if it turns into another "he said, she said" like my xanga did, I will have to find a new way to keep in touch with my beloved friends and support system.

I also read today on livejournal, a guy who has made several friends from an online community, and someone became angry and put a very private thing about him out there for the world to read and hang him out to dry. He is now broken, and will not go back to this community, leaving some friends behind.

May we stop using the online community to tear each other down, but instead appreciate and listen to others views and opinions, and if you do not agree with them, move along, or speak the truth in love.